an emotional breath
what is a true friend?
unconditional love without an end
what is the world's worst crime?
worrying that it's wasted time
worrying that it's wasted time
worrying that it's wasted time
.
a decade devoted to a BFF
and poof, and she's gone
I really don't matter
dare I ask out loud
when was the last time she asked how I was?
when was the last time she cared to listen to me?
the answer it triggers her guilt
so she avoids me
the answer triggers her shame
so she avoids me
careful, walk on eggshells around her
she might snap at any moment and cut herself
careful, she can't handle the truth
be the strong one and let her go
back to her shelf
so what if I am haunted
still wanting to believe
in the good intentions
of her heart - is faith done?
so what if I am depressed
by betrayal and fatigue
left for dead to die alone
abandonment never killed anyone
instead of feeling appreciation
she feels guilt
instead of showing appreciation
she avoids me
she does not ignore me
but she abandons me
and her avoiding me just brings me back to
worrying that it's wasted time
worrying that it's wasted time
worrying that it's wasted time
to care about someone
to give all you can
to take care of them
to be there for them - anytime
has it always been this way?
has she always avoided me?
have I fooled myself for years thinking she cared about me?
she called me BFF
was sharing and caring all just an accident of proximity?
a convenience of her needing a place to live
and financial support?
current evidence would answer yes
is there any evidence that would answer no?
am I blind to it?
who cares?
silence...
she might hurt herself
she feels so bad
avoiding self-loathing
to not feel sad
she does not feel
so please don't remind her
her guilt and shame
doesn't want you to find her
silence...
what is a BFF?
an emotional breath
what is a true friend?
unconditional love without an end
what is the world's worst crime?
worrying that it's wasted time
worrying that it's wasted time
worrying that it's wasted time
losing a BFF
is something like death
something like death
something like death
something like death
