I Want To Believe

I want to start again
I want to believe
against all evidence and
experience I receive
I want to believe
I want to believe

If someone would just be kind enough
to show me
show me
show me

I want to believe in love
I want to believe we're not alone
I want to believe in human beings
life can't be just a combat zone

I want to believe in trust
I want to believe in you and me
I want to believe we can survive
and share peaceful reality

it's just not there when I look around
I see how you put each other down
I want no part of your competition
I want no part of your suspicion
I want no part of your conditions
or the fears in which you drown
I don't understand
you don't understand
so I'll just play the clown
and you can wear the crown

I live in a giddy euphoria in my mind
a hopelessly hopeful romantic kind
you can tell me that I'm falling down
maybe you are blind
we all see what we want to see
What we want to find
I want to see someone being kind

someone who doesn't betray
the words they said
someone who wants me to stay
inside their head
remember
the promises made
are not just words
they're plans we made
don't leave me waiting
trying to believe in you
remember your words
show me they are true

I want to start again
I want to believe
against all evidence and
experience I receive
I want to believe
I want to believe

If someone would just be kind enough
to show me
show me
show me

I want to believe in love
I want to believe we're not alone
I want to believe in human beings
life can't be just a combat zone

I want to believe in trust
I want to believe in you and me
I want to believe we can survive
and share peaceful reality

If someone would just be kind enough
to show me
show me
show me

I want to believe

Just Want You To Know

do you ever miss me
just before bed
just as the pillow
cradles your head
during those moments
we would say nite nite
just to know we were alright

do you ever miss me
waking alone
rushing to face
the world on your own
during those moments
we would say good day
just to know we were ok

now we are older
the world feels colder
lovers and friends come and go

we need to be bolder
still I miss your shoulder
I just wanted you to know

in quiet moments
I miss your smile
the simple hug
hello, goodbye
life is so busy
just want to tell you
I meant see ya
not goodbye

do you ever miss me
just before bed
just as the pillow
cradles your head
when we used to text
nite nite love you
just want you to know... I do

nite nite... love you.

Song For a Best Friend (Afraid of Death)

If I was dying
would you want me to let you know?
should I call or send a text
maybe email would be best
or would you rather I just silently go?

My wish would be to say I love you one last time
but the last thing I want to do is make you cry
so I wonder if it might be better
if I just wrote a farewell letter
and let someone else tell you after I'm gone

I know your fears
I know your tears
I know your strengths and weaknesses
we've be close for many years

almost like brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers
the heart makes people family
I want you to be happy, secure, and at peace
In this case I wonder what you want from me

If these were the last words I could speak in this life
would you want me send some of them to you?
should I call or send a text
maybe email would be best
or would you rather if you never knew?

My wish would be to say I love you one last time
but the last thing I want to do is make you cry
so I wonder if it might be better
if I just wrote a farewell letter
and let someone else say my last goodbye

I know you're torn
I know you're worn
I know life hasn't been easy
and you hide from grief or scorn

I know your pain, confusion, anxiety, illusion
I know how much death and goodbyes cut you like a knife
but (in this case) I have just one shot at the right decision (in this case)
would you rather avoid the final moments of my life?

If I was leaving this existence
and these were my last words
then I hope you accept these few
and know they are true...

please live your life the way you want to
may you know peace and happiness
and if it helps to know, then know I love you

I hope this was the right thing to do

Whateverland

There was a place I used to go, we called it Neverland
Somehow in spite of all it's flaws, we called it Wonderland
As years go by and people stop caring we take this stand
To accept they have drifted off into Whateverland

You can forgive without trusting again
You can still love and care and be a friend
You can still be there when they call
You may even still give your all
even as belief in them must end
even if they are no more a friend

Give to them Whateverland
So your heart can remain open and free
unencumbered by conditional love
you can be all you can be
Give to them their Neverland
So they can shirk responsibility
you do not have to be like them
you can live in honesty

And they are always welcome to join you there
if they really want to care and not just be cared about
and they can always learn to become aware
if they really want to know what life is really all about
And they will always know love lies in your heart
and they will always be welcome to it
because that is how you love and who you are
you say it and you do it

And they are always welcome
to do it too.

They live in Whateverland
So they do not have to face reality
unaware of unconditional love
they limit their cabability
They live in their Neverland
of pretense and hypocrisy
you do not have to be like them
you can live in honesty

You can forgive without trusting again
You can still love and care and be a friend
You can still be there when they call
You may even still give your all
even as belief in them must end
even if they are no more a friend

Give to them Whateverland
So your heart can remain open and free
unencumbered by conditional love
you can be all you can be
Give to them their Neverland
So they can shirk responsibility
you do not have to be like them
you can live in honesty

And they are always welcome to join you there
if they really want to care and not just be cared about
and they can always learn to become aware
if they really want to know what life is really all about
And they will always know love lies in your heart
and they will always be welcome to it
because that is how you love and who you are
you say it and you do it

And they are always welcome
to do it too.

Happy Child

I was a silly happy child inside but so few knew
I was told to obey the rules
I didn't have a clue

I'd frown and they would caution me for not closing my eyes
and following along with the games
that they thought were wise

they used to tell me I had no common sense
I think they were talking about money
seems kind of funny

that we live in a world where dollars define success
I think they were confused when they set up
this modern cultural mess

what matters more than what we have
is who we care about
and who cares about us
it's not hard to figure out
what is wrong with this world today
is we are chasing our tails
competing for a the power trip
wondering why it fails

when all we have is fancy stuff
and still feel so alone
maybe someone will remind us
what we have always known

a child is born with the most important thing of all
the will to learn, to trust, to share
and to get up when they fall

What we knew then we still know now but fear gets in the way
we don't need all their common sense
to succeed every day

just trust yourself to share yourself in every game you play
and trust the people who share themselves
thse true to what they say

I hope I can remember this when I am old and gray
hey wait a minute, what happened?
that seems to be today.

As long as we can be honest and still laugh at ourselves
Then we succeeded in our lives
our stories fill our shelves

with memories of every kind, the highs, the lows, the strife,
the times we shared with those who cared
are the best times of our life

I wrote this to remind myself and I have no defense
If I am wrong, I'll be alright
this is my common sense

this is my simple treasure that is all I need to be
a success in my heart and mind
and yes, I'm still happy.

Kiss

Kiss is where love lives
Kiss is where love lives
Kiss is where love lives

it could be a peck on the cheek
a simple closeness we might never speak
it could be just blown in the wind
a distance closeness to remember where we've been

it could be a deep dark abyss
where emotions simmer like lava ready to erupt at any time
it could be the heavenly bliss
where happy ever after beings the final rhyme

it could be even more than this
for everything we want and miss
lives in a kiss

There is no end to what it takes or what it gives
Kiss is where love lives
Kiss is where love lives
Kiss is where love lives

And maybe that is why so many fear the touch
lips are so sensitive, lips can feel so much
and maybe that is why so many eat or cry or live a lie
hiding what they miss without the kiss - letting love die

There is no end to what it takes or what it gives
Kiss is where love lives
Kiss is where love lives
Kiss is where love lives

Family

This one is in progress. It needs to be pure unconditional love and as painless as possible. It is intended to help someone see they do not live up to their own words or ideals and that is why they are sometimes very confused, anxious, and lost within themselves.

Until you face reality and see the things you do... your promises and best intentions will not save you... until you rise above your fears and make your own words true... you'll only find more apprehensions when you look inside you... you'll only find more anxious self-doubts - until you make your words true... you'll only repeat the same mistakes - as if they're something new.

Until you face reality
and face the things you do
your promises and best intentions
will not save you.

Until you rise above your fears
and make your own words true
you'll only find more apprehensions
when you look inside you.
you'll only find more anxious self-doubts
until you make your words true
you'll only repeat the same mistakes
as if they're something new.

no matter what happens
no matter what you do
I want you to be the best you can be
nothing changes what is true

I want the best for you


when I was thinking suicidal thoughts
you were nowhere around
when I called out to you for help
you just ignored the sound

when I was ready to give up
I had to reassure myself
so please don't act surprised that you
are not on my top shelf

maybe we were never friends
no less sister and brother
maybe the truth we need to face
is we just used each other

anytime you needed me
you always had safe space
this past year I needed you
and you just hid your face

you always called me BFF
but what did that mean?
you don't even act like a friend
tell me, where have you been?

but you still have my promise
to always be there for you
for you are my family
and my words are true

get over any guilt you feel
and cut through all the shame
this is not about hurting now
this is not about blame

this is simply facing truth
a reality check
I'll always be there for you
even when I am a wreck

the only change you'll see from me
when you knock on my door
is I might be a little sad
cuz I can't trust you anymore

I'll pick myself up by myself
I'll be fine on my own
you are still always welcome here
so never feel alone

just don't pretend that we are friends
I am your family
and no matter what happens now
you will always have me

you never need to feel alone
you will always have me
if you are ever on your own
you will always have me
for that is family
and we are family
yea we are family

I will always tell you the truth
even if you lie to me
I will always be there for you
for we are family



Until you face reality
accept the things you do
your promises and best intentions
will mean nothing to you

Until you rise above your fears
and make your own words true
you'll only find more apprehensions
when you look inside you.

You'll only find more anxiety
until you make your words true
you'll only repeat the same self-doubts
as if they're something new.


no matter what happens
no matter what you do
I want you to be the best you can be
nothing changes what is true

I want the best for you

we are what we do

How many time did we sit together
making promises to each other
How many times I called you my sister
and you called me your brother

How many times did we test our trust
and promise to always be there
Now I know I should not have believed it
when you said you'd care

And you still say you care
but you don't do it
you've broken your promise
I see right through it
Now I wonder if
you always knew it
that you would not follow through
oh don't you know
we are not what we say
we are what we do

I remember that day we sat in the car
I had a big decision to make
it depended on you doing something for me
and you knew my heart would break
if you didn't follow through on your committment
but you looked at me and promised you would
now I am falling down because you didn't do it
and we both know you could

And you still say you care
but you don't do it
you've broken your promise
I see right through it
Now I wonder if
you always knew it
that you would not follow through
oh don't you know
we are not what we say
we are what we do

Now I am letting go
I the trust we used to know
it hurts so much to feel
that it was never real

Oh, the letting go
is the hardest thing to show
but if I hide it anymore
it will be just like before

and I don't want to pretend
that you are my friend
it hurts more to pretend
than to face the end

I can no longer depend
on you to be a friend
I have to face the end
to get past the end
to move past the end
I am moving past the end

And I know this hurts and I know you'll cry
but I know it's better to say goodbye
than continue pretending this lie
is something we can depend on

And I you won't believe it's true
but this hurts me more than it hurts you
it's not what we say, we are what we do
so that is the line we should end on

unless... the chance to mend
is never really gone


Oh you still say you care
but you don't do it
you're still breaking your promise
I see right through it
Now I wonder if
you always knew it
that you would not follow through
oh don't you know
we are not what we say
we are what we do
we are what we do
we are what we do