in our defense

we never learned the normal ways of sharing
we learned to live believing no one really cares
so we ignore the holidays most people celebrate
because we don't want to feel disappointments or despairs
in our defense

we're happier living without expectations
that way each day brings to life a new surprise
and yet sometimes we feel we let others down
do they see sadness in the way we won't look them in the eyes
in our defense

can we try to break the habit of avoidance
if we realize sharing means more than any defense
we hope you understand
we live in the present tense

and all our lives we've been waiting
for a gift that may never arrive
we try not to think about that
in this depression, it helps us survive

shifting gears and tempo now
trying to break out
pause bump pause bump
what's this all about

. . .

walking down the street
feeling incomplete
waiting for a gift that may never arrive

wondering why we stay
why we wake up every day
looking for a reason to be alive

if we focus on each moment
not stressing over what each step meant
we just may find

that just being alive
can be exciting
and that brings a smile to my heart
and some peace to my mind

or is it all just our illusion

. . .

in our defense we do a lot of avoiding
and truth is we each see just what we want to see
all the confusion may just be an illusion
and some prefer delusion to reality

and we may not always see everything the same way
and we may not always see eye to eye
but in our defense we have a common goal
so we can always try
to never say goodbye

and when the words don't seem to explain
everything we mean to say
we can trust the silence
and not let it get in the way

for in our silence we am still caring
and in our silence we are still sharing
and in our defense
in our struggle to survive

and then we sing the song we never heard
lost and found in and between each word

. . .

if you think nobody cares
well, i do
i may not always show it in ways
you want me to
i don't always feel good enough
to share the way i feel
but that doesn't mean it isn't
just as real
so i wrote these words because
i want you to know
i love you
even when it doesn't seem to show

when you feel alone
when the day does not seem worth waking up for
living on your own
when no one calls or knocks upon your door
in this busy life
when no one seems to have the time to show they care
if you look around
you'll find me there

when you call my name
i'll be there